***就算是再厲害的縮頭人，都只有幾個專長(就是說沒有縮頭人
是無所不知的!!!!!!)所以在縮頭人這一行，互相請教是一種基本
的專業精神與素養!****

阿兔的專長沒有包括處理這種悲傷的特別知識(所有的心理師多多
少少都要有對大部份的狀況有『基本知識』)
所以為了慎重起見，(學生的心理健康比面子重要)，就跑去敲老板
的門(在我們這行叫consultation)，請他以他的知識跟素養建議一些
我可以做的事以及我該注意的事。
然後我寫了一封短短的E-mail向我這位老師求救~~

這個老師是美國心理學的老人學及死亡學中的前面幾把交椅
我都稱他Dr. C.(就是阿兔提到的那個七十幾歲的和靄的笑咪咪的教授)
就是他啟蒙阿兔的死亡學的(我系上有個老師是Dr. C的學生的學生
的學生^__^看我的輩份多高)

信上簡短的回答了我的一些問題，但切中要點
阿兔覺得非常應該談的要點們
所以先貼上來
下一帖再慢慢翻譯和註解
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I agree with you that an assignment to read something about grief after
death might be a better assignment for this student than a genogram.
Of course, it depends on his personality and motivation.

However, I can suggest a few readings:

Redmond, L. M. (1989). Surviving When Someone You Love Was Murdered:
A Professionals Guide to Group Therapy for Families and Friends of Murder Victims (Clearwater, FL: Psychological Comnsultation and Education Services.
(Pp. 38-39, 46-49, 52-53.)

Redmond states that dealing with the criminal justice system extends the
mourning period as the case drags on, with no assurance that the result
will give the survivor a sense of justice being done. There are certain
events that trigger more grief in these cases such as:

1. Identification of the asssailant
2. Sensing (hearing, smelling, and so on) that elicits recollections
of an experience acutely associated with the traumatic event
3. Anniversaries of the event
4. Holidays and other significant events in the life of the family
(such as birthdays)
5. Hearing trials, appeals, and other criminal justice proceedings
6. Media reports about event or about similar events

Redmond points out that survivors of someone who was murdered
face a number of obstacles in adjusting to the loss. The survivor
may have to cope with giving depositions to attorneys and possibly
giving testimony i court. He or she may be surprised to learn that the
charge of murder is a crime against the state, not against the loved
one for whom the surivor grieves. Prosecutors may decide to plea
baragain or reduce the chare to a lesser offense, and they may do so
without consulting bereaved family members. As the case proceeds
through the judicial system, survivors can find themselves facing the
defendant in the courtroom or in the corridor or waiting room of the
courthouse. They may hear the defenant described as a good and
honorable person by character witnesses. Finally, theyt may have
to contend with the defendant receiving a light sentence or even being
released. In other instances, the crime may never be solved, or it may
not be prosecuted because there is insufficient evidence to bring the
case to trial.

Given all these obstacles, I think that your student might consider
some individual or group grief counseling. (The completion of grieving
is more difficult when one canot find the killer.)

With regard to grief therapy in general, I think that the best book I
can recommend for him to read would be:

Worden, J. W. (2002). Grief counseling and grief therapy (3rd edition). (A Handbook for the mental health practitioner). New York: Springer Publishing Co.

It is a small book of about 200 pages. It deals with understanding grief,
and counseling for various types of grief. He may not find specific
references to homicide or a particular type of death but I think that the
book can provide sufficient background and ideas for therapy that he
can apply to himself.

If he is really emotionally upset, then again, I suggest he also
ttempt to be part of a group therapy program.

Dr. C
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
§§§§註:阿兔囉唆了一堆東西中間藏了一個重點§§§§§§§§§
那就是所謂的全能心理專家是不存在的^_^

在美國的心理學界，心理師有好幾個mailing lists可以互相
幫忙，大家用自己的專長互相支援。而你就算不認識在某
一方面的某大師你還是可以寫e-mail去請教他們專業問題
(如果你也是心理師~~)。
前一陣子我老板才收到兩封來自東歐的信請教我老板我們的
研究。雖然我捫當然不認識他們，我們還是認真的回了長長的信。

有時看到臺灣的『心理專家』什摸都知道就很「羨慕」~~
在美國，心理師有一條『天條』就是『個案的身心健康是最重要的』
沒有所謂的『不恥下問』，只有『為個案提供最好最有效的幫助』